On Blogging in Anonymity

I feel a little guilty for not revealing my identity.  It is actually uncharacteristic of me to be secretive.  My life has always been an open book.  I will tell you just about anything about my life as long as it doesn't compromise somebody else.  It is because of my desire to protect others that I have made the decision to keep my identity secret.

The ballet world is a small world and sometimes in it we behave badly.  I choose to believe that people's character should not be defined by their worst decisions and weakest moments, but instead by the sum of their actions.  Because of this, I believe that most ballet moms are good people, perhaps at times misguided, but in their entirety, they are good people.

If I put my name on my blog, you would not only know my name, but you would also know the name of the studio that my children attend, the names of my children and additionally, the families that attend our studio.  Some of the stories I share are from conversations that I have and hear in our studio, other stories are from studios that we have been to before, and some are stories from friends whose children go to other studios. Other stories come from characters that I meet along the way.  I believe that by preserving my anonymity, I also protect my friends and their children.

In addition to this concern, I want to protect my own children.  I believe their identity is irrelevant to my opinions and my identity is irrelevant to their training.  I am uncertain though that their school would agree and this is a chance I am unwilling to take.

Lastly, in order to make this blog a success, it is imperative that I am completely honest.  Not only honest in my observations, but also, honest in my own shortcomings and failures.  If I reveal my identity, I fear that I will try to be politically correct.   There is too much political correctness in the ballet world, we tend to sugarcoat things when honesty is needed. It is my experience that not all ballet moms are honest about things concerning their children.  They tend to overstate their children's talents, or understate their goals, they will exaggerate to put their children in the best possible light.  Sometimes it's exaggeration, sometimes it's a lie, and sometimes it's just distorted vision.  Most of the time, it is not malicious but it is detrimental.   If we are to learn from one another, honesty is warranted, but, it is hard to do so when it comes to our children; so, I will stay anonymous, so I can be honest.  I feel like it is a small price to pay.

How to Muse

I am just a mom of ballet dancers.  I am not a person in a position of any power or control.  Because, I have multiple children exploring this endeavor and they want to make a career out of this, I have spent a lot of time researching, reading and listening to those in the business--this includes other moms.

The observations that I make are not based on any superior knowledge and are my opinions alone.  They are not absolutes.  There are no absolutes in life as far as I can tell.  But, there is good common sense and that is what I like to think I have.  When I write in my blog do this or this is how something should be done, it is not intended to be offered as the final authority.  It is merely another opinion and another point of view.  I don't offer my opinions casually, they are based on research and observations that I have made.  But, at the end of the day, they are mine and mine alone.

I would encourage any parent that has a child who expresses interest in a given area, to become the most informed parent that they can on the subject.  That is what I try to do and that is the point of view and purpose of these Musings.   But, please do not follow my advice blindly, use it as a tool to stimulate questions and investigate matters on your own.  Speak to your child's teachers, speak to mothers/fathers of advanced dancers, read my blog, read ballet talk for dancers and speak to ballet companies if you are given the chance.  But, remember...everybody has an agenda and our agendas formulate our points-of-view.  So, take advice under advisement and use it to help draw your own conclusions about what is best.

I hope that you will find my advice to be honest, helpful and insightful, if you disagree, please share an alternate point-of-view.  We can all learn from open discussion (I moderate questions to prevent spam but I do not censor, well articulated informed dissent).  I sincerely hope we can have one.

How I Came to Be a Ballet Mom

It's taken me a long time to come to terms with who I am.  But, the reality is...I am a ballet mom.  I have 3 children who have chosen to follow this course of aspiring professional ballet dancers and that makes me without question <gulp> a ballet mom.

I started this journey almost 8 years ago out of one reason. VANITY!!!  I longed to see my little princess parade around in a tutu and tiara.  Poor baby wasn't even 3 yet, and here I was planning her life for her.  Much to my surprise and initial dismay.  My son wanted to dance too!  He didn't care that all there were at that first Parks and Rec lesson were pink ballet slippers, he felt called at the age of 4.  Who would have ever dreamed that in that moment our life would be set on such a dramatic journey.  One that will continue to unfold for many years to come.  This journey has been filled with ups and downs already.  But, all in all it is very rewarding and a course I would not change for anything.

As for me, I am a ballet mom and unfortunately that means...I lose perspective on a daily basis.  I become consumed by the green-eyed monster.  I overspend for leotards, private lessons, pilates, competitions, costumes, tutus, pointe shoes, tights, and whatever else I think my kids need to get the edge on the competition.  But, when I pause and take a step back, the reality is most of that will not make a difference in whether my children succeed or fail on this journey.  What will matter is how often I manage to help them keep perspective.  It's a tightrope and one which I am ill-prepared for.  But, I learn a lot on a daily  basis and that is what I hope to chronicle in this journal.  My dad always said that if I could learn from his experiences how easy my life would be.  Maybe somebody out there will learn from my experience and this journey will be easier for them?  Probably not, but I am ultimately an optimist.

So, here are the ground rules:
1. The characters you will meet are caricatures never actual individuals
2. Names are changed to protect the innocent and the guilty, unless they really tick me off.
3. These are my opinions and perspectives and as such they will always be skewed to my version of reality
4.  Nobody is ever as one-dimensional as they may seem in the moment that they are depicted, nobody is as great, evil, vain, greedy, self-serving, talented or untalented as my limited words will portray
5.  If my words offend you, feel free to tune out and if you love them, feel free to share them (but, give me credit because I have an ego)

So...5,6,7,8 here we go!