My daughter has started to go through pointe shoes more often, and that means that I now try to keep two pair in her bag (new pair and an old pair). This means I spend a lot more time and money in the dance store. One day, I was talking to a young girl (age 13 or 14) in the dance store about dancing. After we had made the usual ballet small talk about where she trained and her favorite type of dancing (ballet), I asked her if she had a particular company in mind where she wanted to dance. She looked at me quizzically, and said, "I just wanna dance?"
That's it, isn't it? The reality is that a dancer doesn't care about the company or its location. They just "wanna dance." Don't misunderstand, they want to be compensated and they want to work in a community that supports the arts. But, given the choice between dancing or not they will take dancing any day.
I think it is parents with our real-world concerns that tend to worry about whether they wind up on the stages in Europe, at Lincoln Center, or working in Small-Town North Dakota. In reality, these concerns are kind of silly. For most kids, they will have a professional career that ends in their mid-twenties. If it means that they only make $300 a week is that really so bad? Presumably, they don't have a family to support; and if they are with a smaller company that pays less, they have time to go to college or get a part-time job or both. So, if they don't make six-figures with profit sharing and pension, is it a big deal if they are happy?
I understand parents that would object to this as a profession if that means that the parents have to support their child. But, if their child is living independently and this is their passion, then any amount of money they are paid seems like it ought to be worthwhile.
I spend far too much time worrying about my children's career and planning it out. The truth is my kids are thrilled with the journey. They celebrate their milestones and improvements every day. They love every moment that they get with their teachers, they love the time spent with their friends in the studios and they love being able to apply corrections and improve in small increments every day. They don't care what they are doing in three, five, or fifteen years. They are happy in the now. I could learn a lot from them.
In the end, there are so many things that are outside of my control, that all of my worry and concern is absurd. All it does is aggravate my kids, my husband and create a lot of anxiety in me. Anxiety that is often manifested as CRAZY BALLET MOM my unfortunate alter ego; who behaves badly because of pettiness and jealousy.
If this is a journey, I should it treat it as such, here are my new rules for survival:
1. Figure out the destination. Do my children want to dance professionally? Is this their extra-curricular until college? Are they just trying it out to see if they like it? I haven't asked them recently.
2. Set some benchmarks along the way, must sees and must dos. What are the things that they want to get out of their dance education? Ask them the question, if they had to give up dancing tomorrow, next year or in five years what are the things that they would regret not doing. Put those on their dance "bucket list."
3. Plan the day's journey. Figure out what you need to do this year to give them the best chance to achieve their destination. Set those goals and let them work to achieve them.
4. Assess tomorrow's route at the end of today. Don't worry about what happens next year. If you have done step 3 then step 4 will take care of itself. Going too far in the future just confuses the present and keeps everybody from enjoying the journey.
5. Enjoy the journey. Celebrate the journey. Enjoy the little milestones, the new roles in Nutcracker, going on pointe, getting to go to a summer intensive. All of these are significant milestones in a dancers career, celebrate them!
Sometimes it takes another person to give you perspective and cause you to pause and reassess how you do things. These are blessings in life. I welcome those opportunities as they teach me a great deal. Who would have thought a chance conversation with a little girl in a dance store, could teach me so much? Perhaps the moral of the story is "Listen to wisdom, you never know where it might be." or for those of you who didn't need that reminder..."Always buy a spare pair of pointe shoes when you get down to one pair."
Showing posts with label Unsolicited Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unsolicited Advice. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Mother Knows Best...Sometimes
I sometimes get a chuckle out of parents who have never danced professionally, who do not know any professional dancers and have no affiliation with the dance world that seem to think they know what is best when it comes to their children's dance education. I am not referring to matters of career direction or what type of training suits their child (i.e. Vaganova, RAD, Cechetti, or ABT). What I am referring to is parents who discount the recommended curriculum and attendance requirements but expect the same results as those students that follow the recommendations.
Our studio, like many pre-professional schools, prices its levels at a "package price." The classes included in the package are pas-de-deux, technique, character, modern, conditioning, etc. What I notice though is that some parents seem to pick and choose what they think is important. Commonly thrown out are classes like jazz, character, and contemporary. These classes are expendable in many parents eyes. I hear my children's friends say that they don't take those classes because they have...karate, music, gymnastics and in some cases homework. Do not misunderstand me, I believe that all of those endeavors are important. My question is how do you make the determination of what is of value and what is not?
I hear parents make the argument for not taking character, for example, that their child does not like character. Do they let their children skip Math because their child does not like it?
I hear parents say that they don't ask their child to take Modern or jazz because there child wants to be a ballet dancer. Have parents watched any of the major companies perform? Do they realize that most classical companies have a contemporary repertoire? Do they realize that often one of the biggest difficulties that ballet dancers face is breaking down their rigid centers and being able to freely move? Do they realize that jazz classes typically begin with stretching which ballet classes rarely do.
They argue that conditioning is not necessary because their kid takes 20 hours of technique a week. Do they know that pilates helps them to find the muscles that are need to properly use that technique and avoid injury.
Parents will say things like..."we don't expect that she is going to be a professional dancer". I want to say, "Have you discussed this with your child? Because it seems unlikely to me, that she wants to spend 12 to 15 hours per week studying something if she is not serious about it."
While I ultimately respect a parent's right to make the decisions that they feel are best for their child, I wonder if they realize that these choices may cost them roles in the future. Have they explained the consequences of these choices to their child?
I contend that, pre-professional studios like academic schools, put together curriculums that they believe will produce successful dancers. Something has to give. If a parent chooses to eliminate elements of their child's academic curriculum, they would not have a leg to stand on if the child was not placed with a top-notch university. But, yet, they will not hesitate to complain if their child is not given the preferred roles in shows, accepted into the A-list Summer Intensives, or placed with the top companies although they have created their own curriculum. This does not seem to be fair, does it?
Dance is a comprehensive education. To have professional desires with a recreational approach to training is reckless. Before a parent independently designs their own curriculum for their child's education, I would encourage them to discuss the matter with all parties who have a vested interest in their child's success in dance--the child and the studio directors.
If the studio has a comprehensive training plan supported by a comprehensive tuition structure, chances are the studio feels that the classes they are offering have value. After all, they aren't getting paid extra money for the extra hours of training they are offering; but, they may believe that some classes are more expendable than others given your child's needs. In some cases, it might be preferable for the child to forego technique before giving up modern. That is only an assessment that in most cases the child's teachers are prepared to make.
As parents, we are too close to the situation and generally speaking, lack the knowledge and insight into dance training that would be required to make this assessment. We tend to see things in black and white, but there are often shades of gray. Make sure that you understand the subtleties in shading before you forge ahead.
Our studio, like many pre-professional schools, prices its levels at a "package price." The classes included in the package are pas-de-deux, technique, character, modern, conditioning, etc. What I notice though is that some parents seem to pick and choose what they think is important. Commonly thrown out are classes like jazz, character, and contemporary. These classes are expendable in many parents eyes. I hear my children's friends say that they don't take those classes because they have...karate, music, gymnastics and in some cases homework. Do not misunderstand me, I believe that all of those endeavors are important. My question is how do you make the determination of what is of value and what is not?
I hear parents make the argument for not taking character, for example, that their child does not like character. Do they let their children skip Math because their child does not like it?
I hear parents say that they don't ask their child to take Modern or jazz because there child wants to be a ballet dancer. Have parents watched any of the major companies perform? Do they realize that most classical companies have a contemporary repertoire? Do they realize that often one of the biggest difficulties that ballet dancers face is breaking down their rigid centers and being able to freely move? Do they realize that jazz classes typically begin with stretching which ballet classes rarely do.
They argue that conditioning is not necessary because their kid takes 20 hours of technique a week. Do they know that pilates helps them to find the muscles that are need to properly use that technique and avoid injury.
Parents will say things like..."we don't expect that she is going to be a professional dancer". I want to say, "Have you discussed this with your child? Because it seems unlikely to me, that she wants to spend 12 to 15 hours per week studying something if she is not serious about it."
While I ultimately respect a parent's right to make the decisions that they feel are best for their child, I wonder if they realize that these choices may cost them roles in the future. Have they explained the consequences of these choices to their child?
I contend that, pre-professional studios like academic schools, put together curriculums that they believe will produce successful dancers. Something has to give. If a parent chooses to eliminate elements of their child's academic curriculum, they would not have a leg to stand on if the child was not placed with a top-notch university. But, yet, they will not hesitate to complain if their child is not given the preferred roles in shows, accepted into the A-list Summer Intensives, or placed with the top companies although they have created their own curriculum. This does not seem to be fair, does it?
Dance is a comprehensive education. To have professional desires with a recreational approach to training is reckless. Before a parent independently designs their own curriculum for their child's education, I would encourage them to discuss the matter with all parties who have a vested interest in their child's success in dance--the child and the studio directors.
If the studio has a comprehensive training plan supported by a comprehensive tuition structure, chances are the studio feels that the classes they are offering have value. After all, they aren't getting paid extra money for the extra hours of training they are offering; but, they may believe that some classes are more expendable than others given your child's needs. In some cases, it might be preferable for the child to forego technique before giving up modern. That is only an assessment that in most cases the child's teachers are prepared to make.
As parents, we are too close to the situation and generally speaking, lack the knowledge and insight into dance training that would be required to make this assessment. We tend to see things in black and white, but there are often shades of gray. Make sure that you understand the subtleties in shading before you forge ahead.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Benchmarking for Dancers
I had the opportunity to sit down and chat with a friend of mine about life; and as usual the conversation spun around to ballet. Having been former studio mates, we took a few moments to catch up on old friends and where various students are now.
As we discussed some of the students we began to see a pattern emerging. Some students,who at one time were bright and shining stars, were beginning to level off and others, "sleepers", were beginning to emerge. Isn't it interesting how a child can seem like a superstar at age 12 and by age 15 or 16 things can change? I might add this works in both directions. But, I wondered what happened and could it be avoided.
My friend suggested that it might be a good idea if a family of a seriously committed student were to sit down at age 15 or so and have a conversation with the studio owner about the child's potential. Benchmarking as it is with the director of the stuido. I, however, told her that this would not yield the results that were desired. I doubt if any studio owner would tell a parent that a child should give up their professional aspirations. First, from a bottom line perspective, who would want to drive away customers. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, teachers are also invested in their students and they believe that any child will benefit from dance education. Why would a teacher want to tell a parent that the child has limited opportunities for dancing and run the risk of losing the relationship with the student?
So...if you cannot trust the studio to level with you about your child's future, how do you get a realistic benchmark of your child's potential? Additionally, what do you do with that benchmark if you have one? For the record, benchmarking is something that can be done as early as age 8 and should definitely be done for the older dancer in order to formulate a training plan. I would however caution, that benchmarking is only effective if you are comparing same to same. You cannot compare a child who has been dancing one year to a child that has been dancing for seven or eight. If your child is new to dance, just let them enjoy it and find their way. For a 12 year old or greater that is getting a late start, I would not subject them to benchmarking until they have been dancing at a pre-professional level for a couple of years.
Does your child love dance? Generally speaking kids love things that they excel in. If your child is starting to avoid dance, it may be indicative that they are struggling in class. This could be because they are not attending as often as the others, that they are struggling with a physical limitation, social issues or perhaps physical limitations. If you notice that your child is wanting to avoid dance, start asking some probing questions.
If your child continues to be enthusiastic about their training, then it seems to me you might want to assess their potential relative to their age. Keep in mind, this is potential only. Where is your child in relationship to their same age and experience studio counterparts? Are they in the same classes? Are they higher or lower? If they are in a lower level, is it because of an injury, a late start in dance, are they new to the training methodology or are they just not progressing? If they are not progressing, I would encourage a meeting with the teacher/coach to develop a plan to get them on track.
Important observation: Do not assume that if your student is new to dance or new to a studio or method and they are placed in a lower level that means they have no potential. This is why I advocate placement classes at an elementary level. Level has little to do with potential but more to do with knowledge of the vocabulary. Just remember...Albert Einstein was in first grade once and even idiots can graduate high school. Grade has nothing to do with ability or potential only mastery of the concepts. Similarly, do not assume that if you are in the highest level that you are ready for the stages of the Met, it means you have mastered the concepts in proceeding levels.
If your child is at the top of their peers when it comes to age/level/ability, it is time to look to external benchmarking. There are two diffferent options to achieve this goal. One is infinitely less expensive than the other. The first option is to enter them in a ballet competition. This is expensive and time consuming but can be a positive experience for your emerging superstar and it can be an eye-opening experience for a potential diva. If your student is truly an emerging star and your studio supports it, entering a competition may allow them to get the extra challenge that a high achiever needs. If your studio is not supportive, and by that I mean willing to invest the time for at least variations coaching, please do not enter a ballet competition. If your child does not perform well, it does not necessarily mean that they aren't a talent. It could be reflective of the studios overall training. If it is a training deficit that you notice at the competition, you might want to observe what dancers perform well (notice I did not say win) and check into that studio.
The second option, and a much less expensive one, is auditioning for summer intensives. What I am about to say, may be deeply offensive to some. In the summer intensive world, there is a hierarchy of programs. This does not mean that the programs that are "so-called" D-list are not good and that the world's strongest student wouldn't gain from attending. It refers to the competitiveness of the program and their overall acceptance rate. Truthfully, there are A-list programs that I wouldn't encourage my biggest enemy to send their child to and there are D-list programs that I would send my children to. But, I am strictly talking for A List through D List for Benchmarking purposes and as an assessment of a programs overall competitiveness for placement and acceptance.
A List Programs
School of American Ballet--Arguably, the most competitive program in the country in terms of admissions
San Francisco Ballet
Pacific Northwest Ballet
American Ballet Theater--New York
Kaatsbaan
B List Programs (I would be thrilled to have my children train at any of these programs)
Washington Ballet
Miami City Ballet
Houston Ballet
Boston Ballet
Chautauqua
C List
Pittsburgh Ballet Theater
Bolshoi
Kirov
Gelsey Kirkland
Ballet West
Saratoga Summer Dance
ABT Orange County
D List
Joffrey
ABT Alabama, Austin, Detroit
The Rock
Harid
As I have already stated, some of the B, C and D List Schools and the ones that don't even make the list are excellent programs; and I would argue that your child may get MUCH better instruction going there than to ABT New York or SAB or some of the more prestigious programs. Remember, this is a benchmarking discussion.
So, I would suggest if you are curious how your child ranks against his/her peers, take her to a couple of auditions out of each category. The typical cost for an audition is $35 and you will have an answer within a week or two.
Assessing the Results
1. If your child is not accepted to any audition, you might want to worry. If your child is passionate about this, and if your child has been dancing for a while, I would consider investigating new training for her.
2. If your child is accepted to only programs off of the D-List, be happy. Celebrate with them and then consider your training, is she going every day she can? Is she working her hardest? Do you have time to close the gaps?
3. If your child is accepted to the C-list, they have some potential, and if there is time and they are getting good training, they may be able to make a career out of this.
4. If your child is accepted to all of the schools on the B-list, and maybe even gotten scholarships to the C or D-List. Start to breathe a little easier. Your efforts are probably not in vain. Given time, hard work, commitment and great training, your child will probably find themselves dancing in smaller regional companies and if the fates are kind, maybe even something better.
5. As for the A-listers. Congratulations, your child has a lot of potential, they are one of hundreds of amazingly talented kids throughout the nation who are working hard to achieve their goals and they are well on track. If they play their cards right and continue to work hard, they might have a chance to make it to the stages of New York. But, they have to stay injury free and continue to get good training, and work hard. Take nothing for granted.
6. For the Ultimate A-listers--the scholarship divas. Breathe a huge sigh of relief, if they continue on the track they have been on, there is a good chance that this will pan out. But, there are no guarantees and you must be vigilant, humble and focused on the path ahead. Take nothing for granted and work hard. There are thousands of kids striving to be in their shoes and they will catch up if your child decides to take some time off. Stay healthy, eat right and be kind and know that just because they are on track today, things can change. There are no guarantees. By the way, this is a tough position to be in, because it is an easy one to fall from. And that is a painful fall. I would encourage the child and family that is in this postion to approach it with the utmost humility because things can and will most likely change.
Please be aware that there are hundreds of exceptions to these cases. My child auditioned at age 11 and was not accepted into any program. At age 12, dk was accepted into D List programs; age 13, B list programs with scholarships to C programs; and Age 14...A list programs with scholarships!! If I would have based my decision on what to do with dk's future at age 13, we would have missed out on the elation that came our way at Age 14. By the way, at Age 15, DK got into an amazing professional training program with scholarship.
Understand that benchmarking, in any enterprise is to be used as a tool for growth not to decide whether to stay or quit. If you are using benchmarking to decide if you should force your child to give up on their dreams, I would caution against it. There are too many other variables at play. But, if you are using it to cautiously assess your child's training and prepare them for a realistic future in dance, while giving them the tools to become an "Ultimate A-Lister"--proceed. I believe all children should have a Plan B and that is an education. It just depends when you move onto Plan B, age 18 or Age 43 after a long fulfilling professional career or somewhere in between.
Overall, a dance education is not an investment in the stock market that will promise you great returns. It often feels like a big black hole that one throws their money in. But, it is an investment in your child. The life lessons that can be learned from dancing and working hard toward a goal are incalculable. Exposure to the arts is more valuable than you can imagine (more on this later), and all children benefit from the discipline that one learns in dance. Additionally, children who dance are less likely to experience childhood obesity and are less likely to become involved in peer pressure that seem to plague most adolescents. But, it is not cheap and there are absolutely no guarantees that even the most promising of young dancer will fulfill their professional aspirations. So, try to live in the now and enjoy the ride but keep an eye on the road ahead. If you see roadblocks, prepare for them, make decisions that will help your child. Try not to be a stage mom, but empower them and support them, give them the tools they need to achieve their dreams--great coaching, pilates, and stretch classes come to mind. Most importantly, remember this is your child's dream (right?) and the only way they will succeed is if you keep perspective and let them live it.
As we discussed some of the students we began to see a pattern emerging. Some students,who at one time were bright and shining stars, were beginning to level off and others, "sleepers", were beginning to emerge. Isn't it interesting how a child can seem like a superstar at age 12 and by age 15 or 16 things can change? I might add this works in both directions. But, I wondered what happened and could it be avoided.
My friend suggested that it might be a good idea if a family of a seriously committed student were to sit down at age 15 or so and have a conversation with the studio owner about the child's potential. Benchmarking as it is with the director of the stuido. I, however, told her that this would not yield the results that were desired. I doubt if any studio owner would tell a parent that a child should give up their professional aspirations. First, from a bottom line perspective, who would want to drive away customers. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, teachers are also invested in their students and they believe that any child will benefit from dance education. Why would a teacher want to tell a parent that the child has limited opportunities for dancing and run the risk of losing the relationship with the student?
So...if you cannot trust the studio to level with you about your child's future, how do you get a realistic benchmark of your child's potential? Additionally, what do you do with that benchmark if you have one? For the record, benchmarking is something that can be done as early as age 8 and should definitely be done for the older dancer in order to formulate a training plan. I would however caution, that benchmarking is only effective if you are comparing same to same. You cannot compare a child who has been dancing one year to a child that has been dancing for seven or eight. If your child is new to dance, just let them enjoy it and find their way. For a 12 year old or greater that is getting a late start, I would not subject them to benchmarking until they have been dancing at a pre-professional level for a couple of years.
Does your child love dance? Generally speaking kids love things that they excel in. If your child is starting to avoid dance, it may be indicative that they are struggling in class. This could be because they are not attending as often as the others, that they are struggling with a physical limitation, social issues or perhaps physical limitations. If you notice that your child is wanting to avoid dance, start asking some probing questions.
If your child continues to be enthusiastic about their training, then it seems to me you might want to assess their potential relative to their age. Keep in mind, this is potential only. Where is your child in relationship to their same age and experience studio counterparts? Are they in the same classes? Are they higher or lower? If they are in a lower level, is it because of an injury, a late start in dance, are they new to the training methodology or are they just not progressing? If they are not progressing, I would encourage a meeting with the teacher/coach to develop a plan to get them on track.
Important observation: Do not assume that if your student is new to dance or new to a studio or method and they are placed in a lower level that means they have no potential. This is why I advocate placement classes at an elementary level. Level has little to do with potential but more to do with knowledge of the vocabulary. Just remember...Albert Einstein was in first grade once and even idiots can graduate high school. Grade has nothing to do with ability or potential only mastery of the concepts. Similarly, do not assume that if you are in the highest level that you are ready for the stages of the Met, it means you have mastered the concepts in proceeding levels.
If your child is at the top of their peers when it comes to age/level/ability, it is time to look to external benchmarking. There are two diffferent options to achieve this goal. One is infinitely less expensive than the other. The first option is to enter them in a ballet competition. This is expensive and time consuming but can be a positive experience for your emerging superstar and it can be an eye-opening experience for a potential diva. If your student is truly an emerging star and your studio supports it, entering a competition may allow them to get the extra challenge that a high achiever needs. If your studio is not supportive, and by that I mean willing to invest the time for at least variations coaching, please do not enter a ballet competition. If your child does not perform well, it does not necessarily mean that they aren't a talent. It could be reflective of the studios overall training. If it is a training deficit that you notice at the competition, you might want to observe what dancers perform well (notice I did not say win) and check into that studio.
The second option, and a much less expensive one, is auditioning for summer intensives. What I am about to say, may be deeply offensive to some. In the summer intensive world, there is a hierarchy of programs. This does not mean that the programs that are "so-called" D-list are not good and that the world's strongest student wouldn't gain from attending. It refers to the competitiveness of the program and their overall acceptance rate. Truthfully, there are A-list programs that I wouldn't encourage my biggest enemy to send their child to and there are D-list programs that I would send my children to. But, I am strictly talking for A List through D List for Benchmarking purposes and as an assessment of a programs overall competitiveness for placement and acceptance.
A List Programs
School of American Ballet--Arguably, the most competitive program in the country in terms of admissions
San Francisco Ballet
Pacific Northwest Ballet
American Ballet Theater--New York
Kaatsbaan
B List Programs (I would be thrilled to have my children train at any of these programs)
Washington Ballet
Miami City Ballet
Houston Ballet
Boston Ballet
Chautauqua
C List
Pittsburgh Ballet Theater
Bolshoi
Kirov
Gelsey Kirkland
Ballet West
Saratoga Summer Dance
ABT Orange County
D List
Joffrey
ABT Alabama, Austin, Detroit
The Rock
Harid
As I have already stated, some of the B, C and D List Schools and the ones that don't even make the list are excellent programs; and I would argue that your child may get MUCH better instruction going there than to ABT New York or SAB or some of the more prestigious programs. Remember, this is a benchmarking discussion.
So, I would suggest if you are curious how your child ranks against his/her peers, take her to a couple of auditions out of each category. The typical cost for an audition is $35 and you will have an answer within a week or two.
Assessing the Results
1. If your child is not accepted to any audition, you might want to worry. If your child is passionate about this, and if your child has been dancing for a while, I would consider investigating new training for her.
2. If your child is accepted to only programs off of the D-List, be happy. Celebrate with them and then consider your training, is she going every day she can? Is she working her hardest? Do you have time to close the gaps?
3. If your child is accepted to the C-list, they have some potential, and if there is time and they are getting good training, they may be able to make a career out of this.
4. If your child is accepted to all of the schools on the B-list, and maybe even gotten scholarships to the C or D-List. Start to breathe a little easier. Your efforts are probably not in vain. Given time, hard work, commitment and great training, your child will probably find themselves dancing in smaller regional companies and if the fates are kind, maybe even something better.
5. As for the A-listers. Congratulations, your child has a lot of potential, they are one of hundreds of amazingly talented kids throughout the nation who are working hard to achieve their goals and they are well on track. If they play their cards right and continue to work hard, they might have a chance to make it to the stages of New York. But, they have to stay injury free and continue to get good training, and work hard. Take nothing for granted.
6. For the Ultimate A-listers--the scholarship divas. Breathe a huge sigh of relief, if they continue on the track they have been on, there is a good chance that this will pan out. But, there are no guarantees and you must be vigilant, humble and focused on the path ahead. Take nothing for granted and work hard. There are thousands of kids striving to be in their shoes and they will catch up if your child decides to take some time off. Stay healthy, eat right and be kind and know that just because they are on track today, things can change. There are no guarantees. By the way, this is a tough position to be in, because it is an easy one to fall from. And that is a painful fall. I would encourage the child and family that is in this postion to approach it with the utmost humility because things can and will most likely change.
Please be aware that there are hundreds of exceptions to these cases. My child auditioned at age 11 and was not accepted into any program. At age 12, dk was accepted into D List programs; age 13, B list programs with scholarships to C programs; and Age 14...A list programs with scholarships!! If I would have based my decision on what to do with dk's future at age 13, we would have missed out on the elation that came our way at Age 14. By the way, at Age 15, DK got into an amazing professional training program with scholarship.
Understand that benchmarking, in any enterprise is to be used as a tool for growth not to decide whether to stay or quit. If you are using benchmarking to decide if you should force your child to give up on their dreams, I would caution against it. There are too many other variables at play. But, if you are using it to cautiously assess your child's training and prepare them for a realistic future in dance, while giving them the tools to become an "Ultimate A-Lister"--proceed. I believe all children should have a Plan B and that is an education. It just depends when you move onto Plan B, age 18 or Age 43 after a long fulfilling professional career or somewhere in between.
Overall, a dance education is not an investment in the stock market that will promise you great returns. It often feels like a big black hole that one throws their money in. But, it is an investment in your child. The life lessons that can be learned from dancing and working hard toward a goal are incalculable. Exposure to the arts is more valuable than you can imagine (more on this later), and all children benefit from the discipline that one learns in dance. Additionally, children who dance are less likely to experience childhood obesity and are less likely to become involved in peer pressure that seem to plague most adolescents. But, it is not cheap and there are absolutely no guarantees that even the most promising of young dancer will fulfill their professional aspirations. So, try to live in the now and enjoy the ride but keep an eye on the road ahead. If you see roadblocks, prepare for them, make decisions that will help your child. Try not to be a stage mom, but empower them and support them, give them the tools they need to achieve their dreams--great coaching, pilates, and stretch classes come to mind. Most importantly, remember this is your child's dream (right?) and the only way they will succeed is if you keep perspective and let them live it.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Act 2...Choosing a Studio
As I said in my last post, this is a topic that I feel very strongly about. It really upsets me to see parents not exercise the same level of care in choosing a dance educator for their child (any extracurricular falls into this in my opinion) that they would exercise in selecting a mechanic for their car or plumber for their home. With that in mind, I don't think that parents are uncaring as much as uneducated about the difference. At least, I was initially.
1. Staying in a studio too long. In any educational process, students need change and the type of school they need will evolve over time. What may be the most suitable school in the early years of a child's dance training, will most likely not be a fit in five years. There are exceptions to these rules, and it is important that we as parents are doing a reality check with our children to make sure that their needs are being met. Ask the question--is your child still being challenged? Does the school's alunmi achievements align with your child's goals? Is your child the best in the school--not a good thing? Does your child feel like they have to work harder to achieve their goals in that school or is it "okay" to skip a class here and there--APATHY ALERT.
I always tell my kids that my job is to help them get where they want to go, while keeping as many options open to them as long as I can. As we age, opportunities close off to us--for example, a girl who is 14 that wants to start Gymnastics has missed her chance to be an Olympic Gymnast. But, she may be able to learn tumbling and make the cheerleading squad. Our challenge as parents is to help them understand the realities before them and find the best way to achieve their dream whatever it may be.
2. Engage your child in discussions about their dance dreams. Does your child long to be on Dancing With the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, dance on a cruise ship, or take the stage at The Met, maybe they want to just make the dance team at school, perform in a school play, or go to medical school? Expose them to all the different opportunities in dance and life and see what piques their interest. Once you know their goals, do your best to get them the training that will help them achieve that objective but not prevent them from achieving a different kind of dance dream if they change their mind.
3. Develop a training plan. I know it sounds over-the-top, but it's necessary and it's an essential tool in evaluating your current studio. Aspiring dancers train at the same level as elite level athletes. Elite level athletes have training plans for achieving their goals. I would encourage you to work with your child, and his/her coach to come up with one. If the coach is not available, see if there is a mentor that you can work with to come up with a plan. An older/former student who has achieved the goal that your child is pursuing. I will write more later on what a training plan should look like.
4. Safety. From time to time, dancers get injured. Unfortunately, this happens. But, look at the school's overall injury rate. If there are a lot of injuries occurring in class proportionately speaking, it could indicate, training deficits. Perhaps the flooring is improper, maybe children are not shown the proper muscles to engage when working at the barre, in some cases, students may be asked to execute technique without the proper physical development. All of these should be of paramount importance to a parent. Professional dancing aspirations aside, our knees, hips, ankles, and backs need to last us a lifetime. Don't let somebody expose your child to unnecessary injury. Don't be afraid to ask about injuries and injury prevention. If the studio is completely lost with that question, that would suggest that it is a topic they do not actively consider. They definitely should.
5. Teaching Methods and Styles. What are the teaching styles at the studio and perhaps more importantly do they mesh with your child's learning style? Are the teachers nurturing, loving, disciplined, structured, sticklers for details, aloof, negative, do they lavish praise or do they give it like a special dessert served with a celebratory meal. All of these methods work. Some, in my opinion, are more effective than others. Some work better with young ones, other methods work better with teenagers. What works best with your child? Does the teacher seem to have that capacity within his personality?
There is a lot more to choosing a dance studio. As I mentioned in my last post, choosing a studio is a deeply personal process and there are lots of elements to consider. I will continue to share them, but in the meantime, take some time and ask yourself how your studio measures up to these criteria. If they fall short, you may want to consider looking around and it may just be the justification as to why your child has been unhappy with their training. On the other hand, if most of these needs are met, you might still be unhappy...if that's the case, try to articulate what is missing. Can you find it in your current studio? Or, is it time to shop around?
1. Staying in a studio too long. In any educational process, students need change and the type of school they need will evolve over time. What may be the most suitable school in the early years of a child's dance training, will most likely not be a fit in five years. There are exceptions to these rules, and it is important that we as parents are doing a reality check with our children to make sure that their needs are being met. Ask the question--is your child still being challenged? Does the school's alunmi achievements align with your child's goals? Is your child the best in the school--not a good thing? Does your child feel like they have to work harder to achieve their goals in that school or is it "okay" to skip a class here and there--APATHY ALERT.
I always tell my kids that my job is to help them get where they want to go, while keeping as many options open to them as long as I can. As we age, opportunities close off to us--for example, a girl who is 14 that wants to start Gymnastics has missed her chance to be an Olympic Gymnast. But, she may be able to learn tumbling and make the cheerleading squad. Our challenge as parents is to help them understand the realities before them and find the best way to achieve their dream whatever it may be.
2. Engage your child in discussions about their dance dreams. Does your child long to be on Dancing With the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, dance on a cruise ship, or take the stage at The Met, maybe they want to just make the dance team at school, perform in a school play, or go to medical school? Expose them to all the different opportunities in dance and life and see what piques their interest. Once you know their goals, do your best to get them the training that will help them achieve that objective but not prevent them from achieving a different kind of dance dream if they change their mind.
3. Develop a training plan. I know it sounds over-the-top, but it's necessary and it's an essential tool in evaluating your current studio. Aspiring dancers train at the same level as elite level athletes. Elite level athletes have training plans for achieving their goals. I would encourage you to work with your child, and his/her coach to come up with one. If the coach is not available, see if there is a mentor that you can work with to come up with a plan. An older/former student who has achieved the goal that your child is pursuing. I will write more later on what a training plan should look like.
4. Safety. From time to time, dancers get injured. Unfortunately, this happens. But, look at the school's overall injury rate. If there are a lot of injuries occurring in class proportionately speaking, it could indicate, training deficits. Perhaps the flooring is improper, maybe children are not shown the proper muscles to engage when working at the barre, in some cases, students may be asked to execute technique without the proper physical development. All of these should be of paramount importance to a parent. Professional dancing aspirations aside, our knees, hips, ankles, and backs need to last us a lifetime. Don't let somebody expose your child to unnecessary injury. Don't be afraid to ask about injuries and injury prevention. If the studio is completely lost with that question, that would suggest that it is a topic they do not actively consider. They definitely should.
5. Teaching Methods and Styles. What are the teaching styles at the studio and perhaps more importantly do they mesh with your child's learning style? Are the teachers nurturing, loving, disciplined, structured, sticklers for details, aloof, negative, do they lavish praise or do they give it like a special dessert served with a celebratory meal. All of these methods work. Some, in my opinion, are more effective than others. Some work better with young ones, other methods work better with teenagers. What works best with your child? Does the teacher seem to have that capacity within his personality?
There is a lot more to choosing a dance studio. As I mentioned in my last post, choosing a studio is a deeply personal process and there are lots of elements to consider. I will continue to share them, but in the meantime, take some time and ask yourself how your studio measures up to these criteria. If they fall short, you may want to consider looking around and it may just be the justification as to why your child has been unhappy with their training. On the other hand, if most of these needs are met, you might still be unhappy...if that's the case, try to articulate what is missing. Can you find it in your current studio? Or, is it time to shop around?
Choosing a New Studio
I have been wanting to talk about something that really concerns me and that's the decision-making process involved in selecting a studio. For each family, it is a deeply personal decision and one that should be made when you consider a wide variety of concerns such as finances, location, styles of dance offered, teaching methods, their objectives and your goals and how the two align, and the all important student--teacher compatibility lastly, and no small matter for the parent, Customer Service. I can probably write twenty pages on selection criteria, because I have very strong opinions on it, but here are some things for starters.
1. Level Placement If you go to a new studio and they offer to put your child in the top level, does that mean that they are that great of a dancer or that their training/growth there will be limited? I would prefer to send my child to a school where there is at least one level above theirs. I have always felt like that means there is room for my child to grow--but, I often find that I am unique in this point of view. I have never understood this mentality, although I am sure there are compelling arguments in support of it. Maybe somebody can enlighten me?
2. Placement Class Along those lines, I often see parents that come into our studio for placement for their child and misguidedly argue when the school tries to put them in a lower level for placement class. The school's contention is that it is always easier to move an "underplaced" student up to the next level, but few students want to come back if they have been placed in a level that is too high for them.
Typically, a placement class is challenging enough regardless of the level. A student is normally struggling just to understand the teacher's nuances, the music is different, the room is different, EVERYTHING is different. When the class is too difficult, the experience is humiliating, demoralizing and embarrassing and in some instances, it can be dangerous. Truthfully, well-intentioned parents who argue for a "more challenging" placement have actually done their child a tremendous disservice. I have never seen a child come back after a bad placement class.
Our school has been burned enough times by braggadocios parents that they have implemented a new policy for their Conservatory placements---if the student is on pointe for a year or more, they go to Class B, if they are not, they go to Class A--NO EXCEPTIONS. It is simple. So far, it seems to work; although I often hear parents saying "But, she is in Level 53 at Bobbi Jean's Twinkly Stars Dance School". Please Listen up... Until you are a professional dancer in a company, level numbers/grades are meaningless outside of your current studio. There is no national certification that all studios go through in this country to verify the consistency of levels. There are some syllabi out there that do have exams; and if a student is moving to a studio that follows that syllabus, then levels will be pretty accurate. But, if there has not been an independent examination, I would be very reluctant to put a lot of credence in a studio's leveling system.
3. When you are shopping for a new studio. Learn to read the bio's of the teachers/directors. Most schools can make their teachers sound pretty amazing; but, as a consumer you need to learn to decode the biographies just like you would an ingredient label for a child with a food sensitivity. Trust me, children are allergic to bad training and sadly there is a lot out there. Here are some tips I have learned and buzzwords to assess:
a. "Piper has studied with Bob Fosse, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Ben Vereen, Fred Astaire and Debbie Reynolds"
Translation: Piper took a class at Steps on Broadway or a dance convention or similar venue and this person was in the room taking class or taught the class to 300 other students. In some cases they may have bought videos and watched the individual. It does not normally mean that this dance legend trained them in the normal teacher/pupil sustained relationship.
What I want to see is something like this: Piper attended XYZ school from 1975-1983 under the direction of Bob the Builder, and while she was there, she was blessed to have among her regular instructors ballet greats Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nureyev as her teachers/mentors. Through their loving instruction she was inspired to become a teacher herself upon retirement from "The Greatest Ballet Company in the World".
The second one cites where Piper trained and who her coaches were while she was there as well as offers dates--vanity aside, after all. This biography offers you a way to verify her training as well as establishes a sustained relationship between teacher/coach and student. Please note, Fonteyn and Nureyev were not known for teaching, and unfortunately, they are dead. They are given only as examples.
b. Next, what does it say about the teacher's professional experience? Not necessarily all good teachers danced professionally, nor do all professional dancers make great teachers, but read the biography for red flags that overstate their professional career. Example: "Mary has performed leading roles in such ballets as "The Nutcracker" "Apollo" "Swan Lake" and "Ballet You've Never Heard Of But I Will Throw It Out So You Think I Am Amazing". Her repertoire includes Aurora, Sugarplum Fairy, Giselle, and "another role I have always wanted to do."
Translation: I danced these roles in my student company when I was 12 and everybody thought I was the next Maria Tallchief.
What I like to see is: During her 15 year professional career with "A Nationally Known Professional Company" Mary danced principal roles in such ballets as "Giselle" "Don Quixote" "Swan Lake" and "Nutcracker". "The world's best choreographer" set the role of "Somebody" on her for his ballet "Really Important Piece".
I would love a teacher whose resume says. "Jane trained for 10 years under Edna Jean's School of Ballet. While there she recognized her love of teaching and entered the school's teacher training program and taught pre-ballet and creative movement. After graduation, she performed in the corps of Small Town Ballet and worked in such productions as Giselle, Nutcracker, Swan Lake and Sleeping Beauty, while attending college at University of Well-Known Dance School. Upon graduation, she began teaching at Reputable Ballet School in the children's division. She has been honored to train students who have gone on to dance professionally for such major companies as Big City Company A, Middle City Company B, and Well-Known Contemporary Company C." While not a blue ribbon resume of training it is clear that this teacher probably knows dance and has trained students that have gone on to dance.
Remember: These are resumes for the Hiring Process. You are hiring these individuals to teach your child. If you were hiring them to work for you in a business, you would want to make sure that they had the proper experience to do so--you would verify their education, their previous employment and their experience while employed. Don't assume that your studio has done their due diligence--often times, they are just looking for a person with a smile and a pulse that will teach 30 eight-year olds for $25/hour. Take the time to understand whether these individuals are dance professionals with solid credentials or something other than that. What I look for as a parent is honesty, not an attempt to inflate an instructors qualifications. After I read the resume, I like to have a five minute conversation with the teacher after a placement class. This combined with my child's input from class is the interview. I ask the teacher questions about what he/she sees and I listen not so much for their answers but their conviction. While my child is taking class, I watch the other classes and the older dancers. Do I like the discipline, do I see a progression of levels? Do the dancers appear to be well-trained?
Do not settle for less than the best that you can find. Truthfully, in our area, the difference between the most expensive studio in the area's rate for one class per week and the cheapest is $12/month or $3 per lesson. Basically, that's one cup of coffee per week. I think my child is worth it. How about you?
3. As far as tuition costs for more advanced students, a lot of studios do an unlimited pricing plan. I am a firm believer in the old adage--"you get what you pay for" so look carefully at these and make sure that you are not seduced by the "bargain basement" mentality that so many of us love. Also, make sure that you are aware of the "hidden fees"--recitals, costumes, competitions, performance group fees, and all of the other costs that come along with it.
A side note...Make sure that if your child is preparing for a recital, that technique is not sacrificed at the expense of choreography. It is very common that recital dances are practiced in the classroom. This is fine in younger levels as long as it is a small percentage of time. There is a tremendous benefit to learning choreography and polishing it for a performance. However, if your family has made the decision to not participate in the recital for the "SHOW" your child may spend the next 6 months standing in the back practicing a dance for 45 minutes each class that he will never do. When you think about it in those terms, the "bargain" doesn't look so good.
Here are some questions to ponder when it comes to unlimited tuition plans:
a. How many hours of training per week are available for my child and with what instructors? One studio in our area offers unlimited tuition of $350 per month. On the surface that seems like a great deal (or at least I thought it was worth investigating). But, what I found out is that if my child took every class that was available to her it would only be 12 hours per week, four of those hours were with instructors that I would prefer not work with my child. Another area studio offers up to 26 hours per week (open classes are included) for $425 and has no student instructors (except as an occasional sub). Make sure you are comparing apples to apples.
b. I also want to point out that you want to make sure that the classes that are being offered make sense. For example, an unlimited class schedule that includes stretch, krump, hip hop or Gaga for my kid would be a complete waste of time. My child is GUMBY and nobody wants to see this aspiring ballerina do Krump--well, at least, I don't.
There is so much more I want to say about this subject. I feel as if I am just getting going...so for now, I am just declaring an intermission....Please check back for Act 2.
Typically, a placement class is challenging enough regardless of the level. A student is normally struggling just to understand the teacher's nuances, the music is different, the room is different, EVERYTHING is different. When the class is too difficult, the experience is humiliating, demoralizing and embarrassing and in some instances, it can be dangerous. Truthfully, well-intentioned parents who argue for a "more challenging" placement have actually done their child a tremendous disservice. I have never seen a child come back after a bad placement class.
Our school has been burned enough times by braggadocios parents that they have implemented a new policy for their Conservatory placements---if the student is on pointe for a year or more, they go to Class B, if they are not, they go to Class A--NO EXCEPTIONS. It is simple. So far, it seems to work; although I often hear parents saying "But, she is in Level 53 at Bobbi Jean's Twinkly Stars Dance School". Please Listen up... Until you are a professional dancer in a company, level numbers/grades are meaningless outside of your current studio. There is no national certification that all studios go through in this country to verify the consistency of levels. There are some syllabi out there that do have exams; and if a student is moving to a studio that follows that syllabus, then levels will be pretty accurate. But, if there has not been an independent examination, I would be very reluctant to put a lot of credence in a studio's leveling system.
3. When you are shopping for a new studio. Learn to read the bio's of the teachers/directors. Most schools can make their teachers sound pretty amazing; but, as a consumer you need to learn to decode the biographies just like you would an ingredient label for a child with a food sensitivity. Trust me, children are allergic to bad training and sadly there is a lot out there. Here are some tips I have learned and buzzwords to assess:
a. "Piper has studied with Bob Fosse, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Ben Vereen, Fred Astaire and Debbie Reynolds"
Translation: Piper took a class at Steps on Broadway or a dance convention or similar venue and this person was in the room taking class or taught the class to 300 other students. In some cases they may have bought videos and watched the individual. It does not normally mean that this dance legend trained them in the normal teacher/pupil sustained relationship.
What I want to see is something like this: Piper attended XYZ school from 1975-1983 under the direction of Bob the Builder, and while she was there, she was blessed to have among her regular instructors ballet greats Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nureyev as her teachers/mentors. Through their loving instruction she was inspired to become a teacher herself upon retirement from "The Greatest Ballet Company in the World".
The second one cites where Piper trained and who her coaches were while she was there as well as offers dates--vanity aside, after all. This biography offers you a way to verify her training as well as establishes a sustained relationship between teacher/coach and student. Please note, Fonteyn and Nureyev were not known for teaching, and unfortunately, they are dead. They are given only as examples.
b. Next, what does it say about the teacher's professional experience? Not necessarily all good teachers danced professionally, nor do all professional dancers make great teachers, but read the biography for red flags that overstate their professional career. Example: "Mary has performed leading roles in such ballets as "The Nutcracker" "Apollo" "Swan Lake" and "Ballet You've Never Heard Of But I Will Throw It Out So You Think I Am Amazing". Her repertoire includes Aurora, Sugarplum Fairy, Giselle, and "another role I have always wanted to do."
Translation: I danced these roles in my student company when I was 12 and everybody thought I was the next Maria Tallchief.
What I like to see is: During her 15 year professional career with "A Nationally Known Professional Company" Mary danced principal roles in such ballets as "Giselle" "Don Quixote" "Swan Lake" and "Nutcracker". "The world's best choreographer" set the role of "Somebody" on her for his ballet "Really Important Piece".
I would love a teacher whose resume says. "Jane trained for 10 years under Edna Jean's School of Ballet. While there she recognized her love of teaching and entered the school's teacher training program and taught pre-ballet and creative movement. After graduation, she performed in the corps of Small Town Ballet and worked in such productions as Giselle, Nutcracker, Swan Lake and Sleeping Beauty, while attending college at University of Well-Known Dance School. Upon graduation, she began teaching at Reputable Ballet School in the children's division. She has been honored to train students who have gone on to dance professionally for such major companies as Big City Company A, Middle City Company B, and Well-Known Contemporary Company C." While not a blue ribbon resume of training it is clear that this teacher probably knows dance and has trained students that have gone on to dance.
Remember: These are resumes for the Hiring Process. You are hiring these individuals to teach your child. If you were hiring them to work for you in a business, you would want to make sure that they had the proper experience to do so--you would verify their education, their previous employment and their experience while employed. Don't assume that your studio has done their due diligence--often times, they are just looking for a person with a smile and a pulse that will teach 30 eight-year olds for $25/hour. Take the time to understand whether these individuals are dance professionals with solid credentials or something other than that. What I look for as a parent is honesty, not an attempt to inflate an instructors qualifications. After I read the resume, I like to have a five minute conversation with the teacher after a placement class. This combined with my child's input from class is the interview. I ask the teacher questions about what he/she sees and I listen not so much for their answers but their conviction. While my child is taking class, I watch the other classes and the older dancers. Do I like the discipline, do I see a progression of levels? Do the dancers appear to be well-trained?
Do not settle for less than the best that you can find. Truthfully, in our area, the difference between the most expensive studio in the area's rate for one class per week and the cheapest is $12/month or $3 per lesson. Basically, that's one cup of coffee per week. I think my child is worth it. How about you?
3. As far as tuition costs for more advanced students, a lot of studios do an unlimited pricing plan. I am a firm believer in the old adage--"you get what you pay for" so look carefully at these and make sure that you are not seduced by the "bargain basement" mentality that so many of us love. Also, make sure that you are aware of the "hidden fees"--recitals, costumes, competitions, performance group fees, and all of the other costs that come along with it.
A side note...Make sure that if your child is preparing for a recital, that technique is not sacrificed at the expense of choreography. It is very common that recital dances are practiced in the classroom. This is fine in younger levels as long as it is a small percentage of time. There is a tremendous benefit to learning choreography and polishing it for a performance. However, if your family has made the decision to not participate in the recital for the "SHOW" your child may spend the next 6 months standing in the back practicing a dance for 45 minutes each class that he will never do. When you think about it in those terms, the "bargain" doesn't look so good.
Here are some questions to ponder when it comes to unlimited tuition plans:
a. How many hours of training per week are available for my child and with what instructors? One studio in our area offers unlimited tuition of $350 per month. On the surface that seems like a great deal (or at least I thought it was worth investigating). But, what I found out is that if my child took every class that was available to her it would only be 12 hours per week, four of those hours were with instructors that I would prefer not work with my child. Another area studio offers up to 26 hours per week (open classes are included) for $425 and has no student instructors (except as an occasional sub). Make sure you are comparing apples to apples.
b. I also want to point out that you want to make sure that the classes that are being offered make sense. For example, an unlimited class schedule that includes stretch, krump, hip hop or Gaga for my kid would be a complete waste of time. My child is GUMBY and nobody wants to see this aspiring ballerina do Krump--well, at least, I don't.
There is so much more I want to say about this subject. I feel as if I am just getting going...so for now, I am just declaring an intermission....Please check back for Act 2.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
With All Due Respect to the Bard...
To compete or not to compete that is the question...
Prix de Lausanne released its list of selectees on Tuesday. A friend of mine was devastated that her daughter was not on the list--frankly, I am surprised too. But, I also believe it is far from the end of the world as she feels at this moment. By the way, I knew quite a few of the selectees which is pretty amazing. Prix de Lausanne Selectees
There is an independent film out right now that is doing well on the festival circuit--First Position a Ballet Documentary. It follows young dancers from around the world who are preparing for YAGP. I haven't had the opportunity to see it yet, but know a few of the dancers who are in it. I wonder if they show the insanity of the whole experience or if it is a focus on the hard work these kids do to get ready. I have strong opinions and equally mixed emotions on the whole issue of competitions. ALERT...Only read this if you are prepared for brutal honesty and understand that it is my opinion/my observations and my experiences that have brought me to these revelations.
So...Competing SUCKS!!!!! It brings out the absolute worst in most parents. I have seen parents lose it and beat their children because they failed to perform. I have seen parents try to sabotage other kids or worse yet, have their children do so. It brings out our greed, our pettiness, our snobbery, it exploits us where we are weakest (our passion for our own children) and calls upon us to feel like our love is proportionate to the amount that we are prepared to "invest" in our children. As parents, we agonize over competitions, we feel like we are setting our children up for failure if we don't give them the opportunity to compete--after all their friends are competing and getting 2, 4, 6, however many privates per week. We measure ourselves and our value as parents not by the love that we show our kids every day but by how well our kids do at competition.
Surely, if we don't allow them to compete, it will be our faults that they do not become prima ballerina absoluta with His Royal Highness'es Best Company that Ever Existed. As parents we give our decisions a lot of power and credit, in some cases rightly so. But, in this case I am not so sure. When I read the biographies of the principal dancers for the nation and the world's top companies, I don't see a lot of them claiming competition prizes. What I do see is them crediting their educations/their coaches.
As a parent, I have realized that the scholarships offered by these competitions are wonderful, but most students can get them for the cost of a summer intensive audition. Last SI Audition season I took my oldest child to 4 auditions for major American Companies for a total expense of $100 plus gas money. At each audition, he was accepted into the program; and in all but one, he was offered a full tuition scholarship (two offered room and board as well). And before you say, he is a boy that makes it easier, keep in mind that girls from our studio experienced a similar track record--no room and board, but scholarships were available. From there, we selected the "best" school and sent him there--the result..an invitation to study in their year round program on scholarship. As far as a job, this school has an extremely high success rate when it comes to placing their "graduates". The cost for this placement was much less than the money that we spent on YAGP which, by the way, he also received scholarships through. As far as the "Elite International Competitions" the cost for participation in these are, on the conservative side $10,000 to a more realistic $40,000. If I were to consult my financial advisor, I am confident that he/she would steer me in the direction of the $25 Summer Intensive Audition.
Sometimes the placements at competitions make no sense and it's hard to explain that to a child. Especially, when your coach doesn't get it as well. I believe that politics are involved in a lot of competitions, and that is hard to swallow when it comes to our kids. Even when your child wins, they are subject to criticism and the inevitable (well, it's politics, or whatever argument/excuse can be made) and honestly, that may be the case--maybe politics works in my child's favor sometimes and against him at other times. I know for sure politics and the arts rarely make for good bedfellows.
So, with all of that being said...we are coming up on competition season and you will see my kiddos taking the stage. Shocking, I know. Let me tell you why...
1. My kids love it. The reality is that they will most likely never be principal dancers (statistically speaking) with internationally renowned ballet companies, but through participation in YAGP, and other such competitions, they are given the opportunity to perform variations that are traditionally reserved for professional dancers and feel the accolades of the crowd.
2. It is a growing experience. Having chosen an artistic endeavor vs. a sports endeavor, my kids would not have learned the value of competition. If they don't compete, they don't necessarily have the experience of working with a coach and taking ownership of their training, practicing and setting goals and then having an evaluation by an "impartial" panel of experts. There is value to these experiences.
3. I made the decision to get on the crazy train and it is hard to get off. Do you remember The Jetsons? I often feel like Geoge Jetson on the tread mill, screaming.."Jane, Get me off of this crazy thing!" I didn't realize that was the case when we decided to participate in our first competition 3 years ago, but, once you go, you feel a strong compulsion to go back. This is why professional athletes rarely heed the advice to "go out on top." Maybe we all are like Kevin Bacon, "Thank you, sir. May I have another?" fraternity pledge in Animal House. Apparently, a little hazing is good for the soul.
4. There is value to learning that life isn't fair and sometimes no matter how hard you work there is somebody better than you. Often, the student who competes is the best in their school. A little reality check can be therapeutic and to see that other dancers are talented to may encourage a student to work harder, get better training, or study harder in school. None of that is a bad thing.
5. I enjoy watching my children perform. This is my vanity speaking again. I admit it.
6. I love New York in Springtime. Each year, I get to take my children to the Big Apple and spend a week watching ballet. Not everybody's cup of tea I am sure, but, I like it!
7. I love meeting all of the aspiring professional dancers and their families throughout the world.
8. It forces me to be accountable and proactive with my children's training.
In short, the decision to compete is not one that really makes sense to anybody. Most of the parents I know whose kids do compete dislike the insanity; but, it is what it is. For the kids though, it is for the most part fun. It is challenging and it helps them grow. But, for the child who doesn't compete or make it to that all important competition, I would encourage the parent to keep perspective and realize that competitions are not companies; and many of the nations top companies don't approve of competitions. They see it as a distraction that takes away from the beauty and emphasizes tricks/showboating over art, musicality and grace. Competing by no means guarantees a professional career and not competing does not exclude one. There are, in fact, "many roads to Rome." The trick is to choose which lane has the smoothest ride for your vehicle.
Prix de Lausanne released its list of selectees on Tuesday. A friend of mine was devastated that her daughter was not on the list--frankly, I am surprised too. But, I also believe it is far from the end of the world as she feels at this moment. By the way, I knew quite a few of the selectees which is pretty amazing. Prix de Lausanne Selectees
There is an independent film out right now that is doing well on the festival circuit--First Position a Ballet Documentary. It follows young dancers from around the world who are preparing for YAGP. I haven't had the opportunity to see it yet, but know a few of the dancers who are in it. I wonder if they show the insanity of the whole experience or if it is a focus on the hard work these kids do to get ready. I have strong opinions and equally mixed emotions on the whole issue of competitions. ALERT...Only read this if you are prepared for brutal honesty and understand that it is my opinion/my observations and my experiences that have brought me to these revelations.
So...Competing SUCKS!!!!! It brings out the absolute worst in most parents. I have seen parents lose it and beat their children because they failed to perform. I have seen parents try to sabotage other kids or worse yet, have their children do so. It brings out our greed, our pettiness, our snobbery, it exploits us where we are weakest (our passion for our own children) and calls upon us to feel like our love is proportionate to the amount that we are prepared to "invest" in our children. As parents, we agonize over competitions, we feel like we are setting our children up for failure if we don't give them the opportunity to compete--after all their friends are competing and getting 2, 4, 6, however many privates per week. We measure ourselves and our value as parents not by the love that we show our kids every day but by how well our kids do at competition.
Surely, if we don't allow them to compete, it will be our faults that they do not become prima ballerina absoluta with His Royal Highness'es Best Company that Ever Existed. As parents we give our decisions a lot of power and credit, in some cases rightly so. But, in this case I am not so sure. When I read the biographies of the principal dancers for the nation and the world's top companies, I don't see a lot of them claiming competition prizes. What I do see is them crediting their educations/their coaches.
As a parent, I have realized that the scholarships offered by these competitions are wonderful, but most students can get them for the cost of a summer intensive audition. Last SI Audition season I took my oldest child to 4 auditions for major American Companies for a total expense of $100 plus gas money. At each audition, he was accepted into the program; and in all but one, he was offered a full tuition scholarship (two offered room and board as well). And before you say, he is a boy that makes it easier, keep in mind that girls from our studio experienced a similar track record--no room and board, but scholarships were available. From there, we selected the "best" school and sent him there--the result..an invitation to study in their year round program on scholarship. As far as a job, this school has an extremely high success rate when it comes to placing their "graduates". The cost for this placement was much less than the money that we spent on YAGP which, by the way, he also received scholarships through. As far as the "Elite International Competitions" the cost for participation in these are, on the conservative side $10,000 to a more realistic $40,000. If I were to consult my financial advisor, I am confident that he/she would steer me in the direction of the $25 Summer Intensive Audition.
Sometimes the placements at competitions make no sense and it's hard to explain that to a child. Especially, when your coach doesn't get it as well. I believe that politics are involved in a lot of competitions, and that is hard to swallow when it comes to our kids. Even when your child wins, they are subject to criticism and the inevitable (well, it's politics, or whatever argument/excuse can be made) and honestly, that may be the case--maybe politics works in my child's favor sometimes and against him at other times. I know for sure politics and the arts rarely make for good bedfellows.
So, with all of that being said...we are coming up on competition season and you will see my kiddos taking the stage. Shocking, I know. Let me tell you why...
1. My kids love it. The reality is that they will most likely never be principal dancers (statistically speaking) with internationally renowned ballet companies, but through participation in YAGP, and other such competitions, they are given the opportunity to perform variations that are traditionally reserved for professional dancers and feel the accolades of the crowd.
2. It is a growing experience. Having chosen an artistic endeavor vs. a sports endeavor, my kids would not have learned the value of competition. If they don't compete, they don't necessarily have the experience of working with a coach and taking ownership of their training, practicing and setting goals and then having an evaluation by an "impartial" panel of experts. There is value to these experiences.
3. I made the decision to get on the crazy train and it is hard to get off. Do you remember The Jetsons? I often feel like Geoge Jetson on the tread mill, screaming.."Jane, Get me off of this crazy thing!" I didn't realize that was the case when we decided to participate in our first competition 3 years ago, but, once you go, you feel a strong compulsion to go back. This is why professional athletes rarely heed the advice to "go out on top." Maybe we all are like Kevin Bacon, "Thank you, sir. May I have another?" fraternity pledge in Animal House. Apparently, a little hazing is good for the soul.
4. There is value to learning that life isn't fair and sometimes no matter how hard you work there is somebody better than you. Often, the student who competes is the best in their school. A little reality check can be therapeutic and to see that other dancers are talented to may encourage a student to work harder, get better training, or study harder in school. None of that is a bad thing.
5. I enjoy watching my children perform. This is my vanity speaking again. I admit it.
6. I love New York in Springtime. Each year, I get to take my children to the Big Apple and spend a week watching ballet. Not everybody's cup of tea I am sure, but, I like it!
7. I love meeting all of the aspiring professional dancers and their families throughout the world.
8. It forces me to be accountable and proactive with my children's training.
In short, the decision to compete is not one that really makes sense to anybody. Most of the parents I know whose kids do compete dislike the insanity; but, it is what it is. For the kids though, it is for the most part fun. It is challenging and it helps them grow. But, for the child who doesn't compete or make it to that all important competition, I would encourage the parent to keep perspective and realize that competitions are not companies; and many of the nations top companies don't approve of competitions. They see it as a distraction that takes away from the beauty and emphasizes tricks/showboating over art, musicality and grace. Competing by no means guarantees a professional career and not competing does not exclude one. There are, in fact, "many roads to Rome." The trick is to choose which lane has the smoothest ride for your vehicle.
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