It's a Tough World, Buttercup!

Dance Training is not for the faint of heart.  Dancers grow from criticsim.  In fact, it is my experience that it is the rare dancer that is happy with laudatory praise.

When I tell my kids that they did great, they rarely accept it.  While they will be gracious to the family friend or casual observer, to my dismay they ask for deeper thought.  They generally ask me tough questions that call into play not only their technique but their artistry and expression.    I personally don't like to wear the critic's hat, I prefer the role of adoring fan.  But, I understand the need for criticism for growth.  As I type this, I long to hear responses from my reader(s); so, that I know if I am achieving my objectives of not only informing and entertaining but also, providing a much needed discourse on the many complexities of navigating a dance education.  Artists live for criticism.

For the child who suffers from self-esteem issues, this can be a real minefield for a teacher.  A common teaching practice in a dance class is peer evaluation.  In this exercise, students are asked to perform an exercise--it may be an element or a combination--and then peers are called upon to assess what they liked about it.  The goal is to challenge students to learn to understand what makes a dancer stand out and help them to develop a clear visual association to enhance their own style and expression.

For some students though, this exploits their vulnerabilities and insecurities and can in some instances be devastating.  To them, I reluctantly say, "It's a tough world, Buttercup!  Suck it up!"  If you choose to dance, you have to learn to deal with rejection.  It is a rare dancer, that is never rejected or criticized.  People will complain about your body, your expression, your artistry, the way that your thumb lays on your right hand in port-de-bras, they will call you out for your makeup and a myriad of other things.  Some will be fair, some will be stylistic preferences, and some will be downright mean.  But, criticism is an absolute that all dancers face.  For those of you that are uncomfortable with peers making these judgments, your reluctance is understandable, but know that all kids are vulnerable in this exercise and each child hears their criticism loudly and takes it to heart.  Teach them not to take it personally but to use it as an impetus to grow and observe as an artist.

I can assure you that very few dance teachers choose this as a path to riches.  When you consider their working conditions--part-time status, evening and weekend hours, no health insurance, no retirement plan, etc, they are EXTREMELY underpaid; so, most of them get into it because of a legitmate passion for their art and sharing their art with new generations of students.  They have a vested interest in growing not destroying young dancers.  Most of the teachers I know LOVE their students and have a tremendous passion for each one and seek to nurture their spirits in more profound ways than you might expect or imagine.

Please remember this, the next time your child comes home complaining of how mean their teacher is or using what you find to be a questionable teaching methodology, remember this fact.  There is nothing more precious to me than my child and when somebody deliberately hurts them there is nothing that motivates me more to turn into a Mama Bear and protect her cub.  But, make sure that Mama Bear is attacking the vicious woodsman and not just another Mama Bear who thought she might just be teaching your cub how to take care of  himself.