The Road Less Travelled

I grew up in a safe world, my life was planned out for me and I took the safe road generally speaking.  When it comes to my life, I am tremendously risk averse.  I hate taking risks.  I become anxious when I put myself out there and I fear that I will upset somebody because I have made a controversial decision.  I am a pleaser and while it may seem to be a safe road, it is a frustrating one.  My greatest joys are when I do step outside of the box and take a risk and it pays off.  But, my Mid-western upbringing always tells me to play it safe.

I don't know where this journey will end for my darlings.  I hope it takes them as far as they want it to; but, the one thing I tell them if that if this is what they want, I want them to go for it!  I never want them to look back with regret and wonder what if they would have tried this, or taken this class, or worked with this teacher, would their career be different?  I approach this like they are going for the Olympics.  I believe that my daughter is capable of being the next Mary Lou Retton and my sons can be Michael Phelps or Apollo Anton Ono.  I give them every chance that is within my power to help them achieve their goals.  I tell them to take chances and hold nothing back.  I want them to take the uncharted road because it intrigues them.  (To clarify,  I am not encouraging them to go walking by themselves through a dangerous back alley at 2 am.)

My non-ballet friends especially, think I am nuts.  Normal conversations go like this,

"What do they want to do after they graduate?"

I say, "Dance."

 "What's their backup plan because nobody makes it as a dancer?"

I think to myself, tell that to Baryshnikov, Hallberg, Kent, Kistler,  I respond with, "They will go to college."

"Well, don't you think they should go to a "normal" school then?  They need to get a Regents Diploma."

"No, they are going to sit for the equivalency exam and start junior college."

"You are letting them drop out?"

"No, I am having them complete the exam they need to prove that they have learned the lessons from high school; this way they can have the freedom they need to train for dance while at the same time continuing to work towards their college degree."

"But, they won't have a normal high school experience?  They won't finish high school!"

"To which I say, well, that is true, but they will have had the opportunity to study at an elite level in their desired career field and they will be 1-2 years ahead of their peers.  But, perhaps I should reconsider so they can go to the prom."

Needless to say, after this conversation, I don't seem to have a lot of non-ballet friends left.

You will possibly even disagree with my rationale; and I understand.  I also think that what works for one kid does not work for another.  But, I want my children to put it all on the table and try to get the best jobs they can.  I don't want stress from homework, peer pressure and uncooperative administrators keeping them from their dreams.  They do still pursue a rigorous academic curriculum through homeschooling.

I want my children to be creative and curious in whatever they do, and have the courage to pursue their dreams.  If they fail, at least they know that they gave it their all and it wasn't good enough.  They can move on with their life at the ripe old age of 19, 20, or 25 and go to college with some great life experiences behind them; or maybe, they will be the one in a million to hit a Grand Slam homerun and make it to the top of a great company, have a successful career and retire from dance, and live happily ever after.  I don't know what the future will hold for them, but I know if they choose to sit at home or take the road that everybody else does, they will never know what it feels like to achieve their goal.  That seems like a sad end to the story.

I hope when my kids look back at their careers, whatever they may be, they feel like they gave it their all and they have no regrets.   If that is the case, then I will have accomplished my mission.  Whatever they become, I will love them.   I want them to love themselves, too and I believe that starts with encouraging them to follow their dreams and not being afraid to take a chance.  Life is sweet when you have the courage to live it.  When you take the safe road you get where you going, but it's normally a pretty boring ride.  When you have the courage to take a little detour along the way, you often find something pretty remarkable waiting for you.  It is not always pleasant, but normally, it at least makes for a good story.

An interesting (at least to me) side note, the title of this blog refers to a line from a Robert Frost poem.  Many people erroneously believe (myself included) that the name of the poem was The Road Less Travelled.  It was actually named The Road Not Taken.  The Road Less Travelled later became the name for a popular psychology/self-help book written by M. Scott Peck. Who knows, maybe you'll win Jeopardy because of this little factoid.