To compete or not to compete that is the question...
Prix de Lausanne released its list of selectees on Tuesday. A friend of mine was devastated that her daughter was not on the list--frankly, I am surprised too. But, I also believe it is far from the end of the world as she feels at this moment. By the way, I knew quite a few of the selectees which is pretty amazing. Prix de Lausanne Selectees
There is an independent film out right now that is doing well on the festival circuit--First Position a Ballet Documentary. It follows young dancers from around the world who are preparing for YAGP. I haven't had the opportunity to see it yet, but know a few of the dancers who are in it. I wonder if they show the insanity of the whole experience or if it is a focus on the hard work these kids do to get ready. I have strong opinions and equally mixed emotions on the whole issue of competitions. ALERT...Only read this if you are prepared for brutal honesty and understand that it is my opinion/my observations and my experiences that have brought me to these revelations.
So...Competing SUCKS!!!!! It brings out the absolute worst in most parents. I have seen parents lose it and beat their children because they failed to perform. I have seen parents try to sabotage other kids or worse yet, have their children do so. It brings out our greed, our pettiness, our snobbery, it exploits us where we are weakest (our passion for our own children) and calls upon us to feel like our love is proportionate to the amount that we are prepared to "invest" in our children. As parents, we agonize over competitions, we feel like we are setting our children up for failure if we don't give them the opportunity to compete--after all their friends are competing and getting 2, 4, 6, however many privates per week. We measure ourselves and our value as parents not by the love that we show our kids every day but by how well our kids do at competition.
Surely, if we don't allow them to compete, it will be our faults that they do not become prima ballerina absoluta with His Royal Highness'es Best Company that Ever Existed. As parents we give our decisions a lot of power and credit, in some cases rightly so. But, in this case I am not so sure. When I read the biographies of the principal dancers for the nation and the world's top companies, I don't see a lot of them claiming competition prizes. What I do see is them crediting their educations/their coaches.
As a parent, I have realized that the scholarships offered by these competitions are wonderful, but most students can get them for the cost of a summer intensive audition. Last SI Audition season I took my oldest child to 4 auditions for major American Companies for a total expense of $100 plus gas money. At each audition, he was accepted into the program; and in all but one, he was offered a full tuition scholarship (two offered room and board as well). And before you say, he is a boy that makes it easier, keep in mind that girls from our studio experienced a similar track record--no room and board, but scholarships were available. From there, we selected the "best" school and sent him there--the result..an invitation to study in their year round program on scholarship. As far as a job, this school has an extremely high success rate when it comes to placing their "graduates". The cost for this placement was much less than the money that we spent on YAGP which, by the way, he also received scholarships through. As far as the "Elite International Competitions" the cost for participation in these are, on the conservative side $10,000 to a more realistic $40,000. If I were to consult my financial advisor, I am confident that he/she would steer me in the direction of the $25 Summer Intensive Audition.
Sometimes the placements at competitions make no sense and it's hard to explain that to a child. Especially, when your coach doesn't get it as well. I believe that politics are involved in a lot of competitions, and that is hard to swallow when it comes to our kids. Even when your child wins, they are subject to criticism and the inevitable (well, it's politics, or whatever argument/excuse can be made) and honestly, that may be the case--maybe politics works in my child's favor sometimes and against him at other times. I know for sure politics and the arts rarely make for good bedfellows.
So, with all of that being said...we are coming up on competition season and you will see my kiddos taking the stage. Shocking, I know. Let me tell you why...
1. My kids love it. The reality is that they will most likely never be principal dancers (statistically speaking) with internationally renowned ballet companies, but through participation in YAGP, and other such competitions, they are given the opportunity to perform variations that are traditionally reserved for professional dancers and feel the accolades of the crowd.
2. It is a growing experience. Having chosen an artistic endeavor vs. a sports endeavor, my kids would not have learned the value of competition. If they don't compete, they don't necessarily have the experience of working with a coach and taking ownership of their training, practicing and setting goals and then having an evaluation by an "impartial" panel of experts. There is value to these experiences.
3. I made the decision to get on the crazy train and it is hard to get off. Do you remember The Jetsons? I often feel like Geoge Jetson on the tread mill, screaming.."Jane, Get me off of this crazy thing!" I didn't realize that was the case when we decided to participate in our first competition 3 years ago, but, once you go, you feel a strong compulsion to go back. This is why professional athletes rarely heed the advice to "go out on top." Maybe we all are like Kevin Bacon, "Thank you, sir. May I have another?" fraternity pledge in Animal House. Apparently, a little hazing is good for the soul.
4. There is value to learning that life isn't fair and sometimes no matter how hard you work there is somebody better than you. Often, the student who competes is the best in their school. A little reality check can be therapeutic and to see that other dancers are talented to may encourage a student to work harder, get better training, or study harder in school. None of that is a bad thing.
5. I enjoy watching my children perform. This is my vanity speaking again. I admit it.
6. I love New York in Springtime. Each year, I get to take my children to the Big Apple and spend a week watching ballet. Not everybody's cup of tea I am sure, but, I like it!
7. I love meeting all of the aspiring professional dancers and their families throughout the world.
8. It forces me to be accountable and proactive with my children's training.
In short, the decision to compete is not one that really makes sense to anybody. Most of the parents I know whose kids do compete dislike the insanity; but, it is what it is. For the kids though, it is for the most part fun. It is challenging and it helps them grow. But, for the child who doesn't compete or make it to that all important competition, I would encourage the parent to keep perspective and realize that competitions are not companies; and many of the nations top companies don't approve of competitions. They see it as a distraction that takes away from the beauty and emphasizes tricks/showboating over art, musicality and grace. Competing by no means guarantees a professional career and not competing does not exclude one. There are, in fact, "many roads to Rome." The trick is to choose which lane has the smoothest ride for your vehicle.
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